* A treasury of gigantic vintage computers
* In Chicago, the bar where not one but two famous serial killers hung out
* The technical constraints that made Abbey Road so good
* Does pop music exist?
* Surviving a weekend with Robert Fripp
” In San Sebastian, Spain, my soon-to-be husband and I drank cold beers at an outdoor cafe, watching children speed through an open square on scooters and bicycles, yelling as their parents drank nearby. ‘ This is what it’ll be like when we have kids, ‘ I thought.
I was wrong – so very, very wrong. Because in Los Angeles, and in the United States in general, we don’t have gorgeous town squares where parents sip beer and nibble on Manchego and jamon iberico while their offspring frolic nearby. We have Gymboree and Jump ’n Jammin, corporate kiddie warehouses designed to amuse screeching, pushing, crying children and to incite suicidal ideation in their parents. That’s what you see clouding the faces of those parents at The Little Gym and Pump It Up, standing around awkwardly in their fucking socks with their hands stuffed in their pockets. They’re thinking about death’s sweet embrace, and the alternative: spending the balance of their days on Earth watching kids shove each other in some padded, primary-colored purgatory.
And what protects most of us from such dark thoughts? Lager. Vodka. Pilsner. Tequila. But do they dispense alcohol at these godforsaken amusement centers? Of course not. Because just as American children are not meant to cartwheel through non-commercial public spaces paved with unfriendly cobblestones, troublingly devoid of Apple stores and Panda Expresses, American parents are not meant to pour alcohol down their throats in the company of children. As a result, American parents rarely have the chance to enjoy themselves in adult ways, away from home, with loose talk and slaty cured meats and booze in the mix. If your kids are there and you don’t feel demeaned and edgy, there’s something wrong. If you’re not agitated and overwhelmed by the pointlessness of human existence, if your hair looks combed and you’re still wearing your shoes and you’re making eye contact with another adult who isn’t talking about bad teachers and potty mishaps, if your ears aren’t ringing and you don’t have the urge to strangle someone? You’re a shitty parent, basically.
Here’s a special Halloween mix that Kevin from Waxwork Records and I made together, which features tracks from various Waxwork horror soundtrack releases as well as some of our favorite season-appropriate punk and metal hits.
01. “ Spooky Guidelines ”
02. Samhain : All Murder All Guts All Fun
03. “ Miguel Bitten ” : Day Of The Dead
04. “ Chanting ” : Rosemary’s Baby
05. King Diamond : Halloween
06. “ Henry Goes Looking ” : Creepshow
07. 45 Grave : Evil
08. “ Mike Meets Fluffy ” : Creepshow
09. “ Banjo Travelin’ ” : Friday the 13th
10. “ Mrs. V Watches ” : Friday the 13th
11. Venom : Countess Bathory
12. “ Main Title ” : Chopping Mall
13. “ Alice Runs To The Cabin ” : Friday the 13th
14. “ It’s Halloween, Not Hanukkah – Main Titles ” : Trick ‘r Treat
15. T.S.O.L. : Dance With Me
16. Roky Erickson : Night Of The Vampire
17. “ The Boat on the Water – Closing Theme ” : Friday the 13th
* How about that? My man Wilko is not going to die.
* “ The guillotine will sever his head, the photograph will preserve his death “
* Why are witches green?
* Not one album has gone platinum is 2014
* “ Larry Smith is the king of that big beat sound ”
* How cruise ships work : gluttony on the high seas
* The story behind the national anthem of halloween
* Everything coming to Netflix in November
* BEER, a history
* “ As one of the founders of the Zamrock psychedelic rock scene of the 1970s, Jagari ( an Africanization of Mick Jagger ) was a household name “
* The strange history of the Ouija board
William Burroughs made a Jack-o’-lantern with a hatchet. Also, this is pretty interesting.